in the midst of tigers and lambs

our language?

2008-08-14T19:55:00.005-04:00

The following is a letter to the editor from the Hanover Evening Sun.

"I'm getting really sick of hearing about how the immigrant are being treated so badly... those individuals are here illegally and should be treated that way. I have no issues with those here legally, as long as they learn our language, get jobs, pay taxes and quit expecting government handouts. This country is in the crap hole condition it is in, because our government continues to give, give, give. It is time we stop letting this happen. If you are offended by this, well I'm offended with the fact that the illegal immigrants are getting away with it or they wouldn't continue coming here."

Perhaps the author of this letter should learn "our" language herself. It's amazing how most people I hear expressing such drivel can barely speak English. I believe that as a society we should worry about our own apathetic disposition towards grammatical excellence before we expect it from others.

study war no more

2008-05-26T20:23:00.003-04:00

It's memorial day. The president asked for Americans to take a moment of silence to reflect on the sacrifices made by many in war. In my feeble attempt to honor this request, I couldn't help but think that the greatest way to honor the sacrifices of these men and women is to work tirelessly to bring an end to war. Yet as I look around, I see very little desire to do this in the American public. With the exception of the Catholics and Anabaptists, I see particularly little of this among Christians. I don't understand why every church is not packed today with parishioners on their knees begging God to bring an end to warfare. Certainly none of them expect war in God's fulfilled kingdom. I am not even arguing (here at least) that there is not a place for it now. Yet why are we so comfortable with it? I am posting a video of the old gospel song "Down By The Riverside." For slaves, spirituals were often covert messages of escape plans. Many slaves pursued freedom by travelling on a river. Subsequently, the "riverside" was often used as an image of the point of liberation from slavery. When the song says "I'm gonna lay down my sword and shield, down by the riverside" I find it to be a reminder of the coming day when we indeed will "study war no more."

Myanmar and Sichuan relief

2008-05-18T19:04:00.002-04:00

Since I was complaining about apathy towards suffering in my last post, I thought I would be productive. The Mennonite Central Committee is putting together emergency assistance for these areas. Although a Christian organization, MCC is very much devoted to service through action rather than word. I am including links to the fundraising efforts of MCC for both Myanmar and for Sichuan, China. Please be assured that the money is for relief efforts only. Feel free to link to their home page from my link list below for more information on the organization. I have no connection to this organization. I am not even a Mennonite. I just appreciate their work.

a sad cultural text

2008-05-18T12:17:00.003-04:00

I was just on the website of a Baltimore network affiliate tv station (WJZ in case your interested). Why do I look at this site? I guess it is the same lowly behavior that draws us to look at horrible traffic wrecks- you don't like it, but you can't help it. Anyhow, on their home page, which theoretically includes the main stories of interest to the Baltimore community, there is not a single mention of the cyclone in Myanmar, nor the earthquake in China. Together these events may have taken 180,000 lives. What is there? A countdown to that all-important day of days, fathers' day (27 days by the way, please get me nothing for this cliche occurance). Also not to be missed are a slide show of CBS' fall lineup, an interview with American idol contestant Kellie Pickler, up to the minute baseball scores, as well as a link to view opinions on whether or not the Baltimore Blast (the local indoor soccer franchise) gets the attentions it "deserves." What does it say about society when the same people (the station as well as its viewers) who don't think the aforementioned tragedies deserve attention, want to spend time analyzing the amount of attention deserved by the Blast? Something seems to have gone seriously wrong with our free press. What was intended as a way to keep the people informed so as to not be controlled by the government, has become a tool to consumerism that seems to increasingly reflect the superficiality of society. Freedom from the government has ironically left us being held captive by our own self-obsession.

Is the pendulum swinging?

2008-04-16T08:36:00.006-04:00

This past Sunday, Messiah College (my alma mater) hosted the Compassion Forum (see videos here). The three major presidential candidates remaining were invited to discuss how issues of faith affect their lives and might impact their presidencies. Of the three, John McCain was the only one to decline. This fact was not lost on the press. I heard in several places the observation that the Democrats seemed to be reaching out to the Christian community, which formerly has been a treasure trove of Republican votes. I feel that they were at least in part correct. Both candidates seem to be more friendly in their disposition towards conservative Christianity than did their counterparts of the 1990s. I don't think though that this change is simply due to a Democratic willingness to reach out. I believe that there is a shift taking place within much of American Christianity. The warm, respectful reception that Obama and Clinton received at Messiah probably would not have happened when I was on campus 13 years ago. The reception, I feel, was demonstrative of more than just good manners. I believe many in the crowd were very interested in what these two had two say. I do not mean to announce the death of the "religious right." I just think that the days of most American protestants voting for whoever James Dobson tells them to are over. I am not exactly sure why this is. Perhaps it is because of the compassionate writings of Christian authors such as Tony Campolo, Fr. Brennan Manning, and Donald Miller. Perhaps that as we move further from the Cold War, it is becoming a bit less of a faux pas to demonstrate concern for the general welfare of scoiety. On this side of a pendulum swing, it is really too early to say. Nonetheless, the professions of Christian faith made by them on this night and others do not seem quite as unbelieveable as they might have a decade ago. Hopefully this change is more of a correction than a swing. It would be of little use for there to be an opposite knee-jerk bias of the one that used to exist. Perhaps this is a an indication that what we are seeing is growing concern for the relevance of the Christian message to life and others, rather than just the self.

Teach your kids math, turn on TBN and count commandments being broken

2008-03-31T21:07:00.005-04:00

I, for some reason, happen to be sitting here watching the Trinity Broadcasting Network on Direct TV channel 372. It happens to be their Spring 2008 Praise-A-Thon. The "praise-a-thon" apparently is a primary means of fund raising for TBN, which, according to the Orlando Sentinel, took in $194 million in 2005 alone. When you add this to their 19 seat private jet, you can't help but wonder what exactly it is that they are praising? A continually running banner proclaims "Give to shut the door on lack and open it to abundance." Huh?

Ministry co-founders Paul and Jan Crouch oversaw TBN's purchase in 2007 of the Holy Land Experience theme park in Orlando, Florida. On the Praise-A-Thon this evening, Paul Crouch described this as doing the "Lord's work." He said that you don't "own" a non-profit organization, but it is run by a board of directors. He said that Jan and him are on the board, as well as Paul Crouch Jr., and he said, "I don't know who else is on the board," giving the impression that this is not about power and ownership. He clearly implied that he is not in this for control, but rather to do the Lord's work. The reality of the situation is that there is only one other person on the board, their other son Matthew. Is it possible he can't remember four people, especially when all of them are close relatives? Is it really a board of directors anymore if it is composed of a husband, wife, and their two kids? No. It is that he was being dishonest. The previously mentioned article from the Orlando Sentinel exposes more on the reality of the reality of their intentions, as it discusses the laying off of 100 workers and the outsourcing of much of the park's work

As I sit and watch Paul Crouch ask for money tonight, it makes me angry. Their fusion of their business with the work of God is nauseating. I certainly do not wish them anything bad. I certainly could be exposed as a hypocrite for much of what I do and say. I just cringe thinking of the people who are giving beyond their means to these thieves. May the grace of God reach these people so that they might know that His love is not attached to the strings of their giving to TBN.

suftastic

2008-03-30T19:09:00.001-04:00

in my best behavior, I am really just like him.

This is what 4,000 looks like

2008-03-26T13:23:00.002-04:00

As of this week, 4000 Americans have been killed in Iraq. Although certainly not a large number compared to other wars (more than twice this number died in 3 days at Gettysburg), this is a huge loss of life nonetheless. So as to feel the reality of this, I would like to memorialize these people by typing 4000 question marks. I chose the question marks because I didn't know any of them and I am not entirely sure why they died.

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brains don't think, people do

2008-03-12T11:46:00.002-04:00

I was thinking about the rationale behind the expression "Guns don't kill people, people do." I guess without a person to pull the trigger, a gun is reduced from a threatening object to an arbitrarily-formed mass of steel. As I look at the faces of my students, I can't help but apply the same logic to the intellect. If a brain is not used, can it any longer be considered a brain?

A Quick Thought on Education in a Democracy

2008-02-02T14:54:00.000-05:00

I was thinking for some reason about the role of public education in democracy. In a totalitarian state, whether fascist, communist, monarchy etc.., it is easy. The purpose is to indoctrinate the people for submission to the state. It seems a bit more complicate in democracy. Is the point to teach values that are representative of the people? Or is to educate students so as to facilitate them one day being thinking members of society who will help steer the public will for good? In the former, teachers are responsible to the desires of the taxpayer. In the latter, they are accountable to the truth (or their best percpetion of it). Although I tend towards the former, it seems that many Christians advocate the latter.

3 thoughts on time from musicians

2008-01-23T08:13:00.000-05:00

"The clock is another demon that devours our time in Eden"
-10,000 Maniacs

"Why do I feel so mocked by the hands of the clock"
-Vigilantes of Love

"We know the drill and we do it well. We love it, we hate it, ain't that life. Ain't that the curse of the second hand. Ain't that the way of the hour and the day."
-Mark Heard

A Meager Tribute

2008-01-22T06:37:00.001-05:00

So as to not be cliche, I have waited until the day after the holiday to pay tribute to Dr. King. I have had a variety of responses to this man in my 35 years. I clearly remember the first time I heard of him. We were shown a film strip on his life in 2nd grade (remember film strips?). Not only was this my first exposure to Dr. King, but it was my first exposure to segregation. I remember looking around at some of my African-American classmates (I was fortunate to have lived in an ethnically diverse neighborhood) and being shocked that not too long before this, we would have lived dramatically separate lives. Over time, my youthful romantic optimism faded. I came to feel that the fame of Dr. King was tokenism (I struggle even to type this now). I felt inundated with clips of him uttering about his dream, yet I failed to grasp the significance of it. I have now come to view him as one the great heroes of American history. I believe that the greatness of this man extends far beyond his role in the eradication of segregation. To begin with, Dr. King recognized that the greatness of the Untied States has really nothing to do with the United States in a vacuum. It rests in the fact that people who founded the nation, as well as those who have maintained it, recognized truths that were much greater than any one nation or state. The country only works as long as it seeks to perpetuate the role of these truths within the nation. Dr. King wasn't just acting to save the black man, he was acting to save the nation. If segregation had been allowed to continue, it could only have led to the death of the nation in one form or another. Something that helped me realize all of this was taking the time to read the entirety of his speech from the March on Washington. As I mentioned, I had heard the end very often, and I never found much meaning in it. I believe that the significance of Dr. King is found elsewhere in the speech. The following is a portion of that. It reflects optimism rather than cynicism, love of country rather than bitterness towards it,and a plan for improvement rather than just a complaint. Above all it shattered the assumptions that many white Americans had made concerning African-Americans, and it helped America be more American than it ever had been before. I only hope that I might be able to implement this attitude in my own role as a citizen, and perhaps pass it on to my students as well.

•In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children

• -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “I Have a Dream”

Paradox

2008-01-19T19:08:00.000-05:00

I am continually confounded by the concept of paradox. It seems to unravel countless philosophical mysteries, but could it just be a cop-out? One such mystery for me is the moral character of French Revolutionary Maximilien Robespierre. Celebrated by some, scorned by most, Robespierre is remembered as both a champion of civil liberty and as the first modern totalitarian dictator. But it would be too easy to write off the inconsistency of this man as having simply been a case of hypocrisy. No. With Robespierre it was far more complicated. He seems to have been both an oppressive tyrant and a champion of human rights at the same time. More than a hypocrite, this man was a living embodiment of paradox.

On one hand is the Robespierre who committed himself "to defend the oppressed against their oppressors, to plead the cause of the weak against the strong who exploit and crush them." On the other is the Robespierre who later is responsible for the executions (among thousands) of Francis Bertrand for making sour wine, as well as of former close friends like Camille Desmoulins and Georges Danton, who he deemed too moderate (which they were anything but).

The issue of Robespierre's religious belief makes for an interesting case-in-point. The Bible in the book of James says that "faith without works is dead." The book of Galatians lists joy, peace, temperance, and goodness among the fruits of the spirit. If either of these can be included as essential parts of the definition of a Christian, than it would be hard to consider Robespierre one. Yet in a climate of militant anti-Christianity, Robespierre continually defended the role of the Christian faith in French society. He made a particular enemy of Atheism towards the end of his life. He believed that the belief of the people in God was intrinsic to the Revolution. He said "The French people pins its faith...upon the conception of an incomprehensible power, which is at once a source of confidence to the virtuous and of terror to the criminal." Indeed much of his motivation to lead a revolution of the people to overturn oppression came from inspiration he received from the teachings of Christ.

Although his actions seem to contradict a Biblical definition of a Christian, his words and thoughts, both private and public, seem to affirm one. Similarly, he seems to have both opposed and championed basic human rights and equality with equal passion and authenticity. Only the idea of paradox allows for the existence of such contradictions.

So is paradox a legitimate entity? Certainly it can be used irresponsibly. It would be very easy to write off any inconsistency as being paradoxical rather than hypocritical. The life of Maximilien Robespierre seems to demonstrate however that dramatic inconsistencies that can exist authentically, or paradoxically, in an individual.

Over the Rhine

2008-01-16T06:43:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my brother for this info- Over the Rhine will be playing Messiah College (my alma mater) on March 28th. Click here for ticket info.

i have flown free

2008-01-05T13:35:00.000-05:00

I am going back to school.

a sense of yearning

2007-12-20T11:05:00.000-05:00

Over the Rhine has a song called Snow Angels, from their album of the same title. Listening to it as we drove home from a friends last night, I was struck by the following verse

Snow angel, snow angel
Someday I’m gonna fly
This cold and broken heart of mine
Will one day wave goodbye
Goodbye to this cruel wicked world
And all the tears I’ve cried
Snow angel, snow angel
I’ll meet you in the sky

Certainly they are not the first to communicate this sense of yearning. Nonetheless, it stuck me as an uncommon sentiment. There seems to be an existential understanding in this of the need for something else. Although sung very pleasantly, I can almost hear Karin crying as she sings these words. Once again, I feel more intimately connected with an artist I have never met (actually I met them once, but that's not the point) than I really ever have with a church community. I just don't get this sense of desperation with most Christians I meet. Certainly they profess the existence of sin and an eternity free of it. What I sense more is a fear of eventual suffering rather than a desire to be delivered from it in the here and now.

The National on Letterman - July 24, 2007

2007-12-18T21:07:00.001-05:00

The National is yet another great band to come out of Cincinnati (also home to Over the Rhine). Their album Boxer was named album of the year by Paste magazine and it is fantastic. This is them performing the song Fake Empire on the Late Show with David Letterman.

Arrested Development film update

2007-12-16T17:59:00.001-05:00

I said I would occassionally update news about any progress towards Arrested Development hitting the big screen. Jason Bateman gave this interview to MTV on December 6.

a brief gripe

2007-12-13T09:43:00.000-05:00

"There are no rules in filmmaking, only sins. And the cardinal sin is dullness."
-Frank Capra
The same can be said of teaching.

The Bells of St. Corleone

2007-12-12T08:08:00.000-05:00

I read recently a brief review of the classic Frank Capra film It’s a Wonderful Life in World Magazine. The reviewer described the film as having presented a Christian worldview. Plugged In, which is published by James Dobson's organization Focus on the Family, said that "after more than 50 years, families can still explore its rich themes and valuable life lessons together." In a 1996 video release by Republic Entertainment Inc. it was labeled under the heading “Family Collection.” In his film Hollywood vs. Religion, conservative movie critic Michael Medved uses it as an example to defend his thesis that the Hollywood establishment has transitioned from being pro-religion in the 1930s and 40s to being anti-religion today. He claims that the inclusion of angels and God makes the film friendly to Judeo- Christian values.

I don't understand why these individuals and organizations are so quick to claim this film as being consistent with their belief systems. The basic plot line is that although things have been tough lately for George Bailey, he is at heart a good man. All he needs to do to make things better for him and the world around him is to search within himself. The film ends with him making this realization, and all seems to be well within the world of Bedford Falls.

I find it interesting that this has become known as a Christmas film. To begin with, very little of the film takes place during Christmas. More than that though, the world of Bedford Falls seems to exist completely outside of the need and recognition of the incarnation of Christ. If God became flesh and set out to die for the sins of the world of Bedford Falls, then he was wasting his time. There is no problem in this imaginary universe that cannot be overcome be a little good intention and self-awareness. The character of George Bailey is not fundamentally in need of the salvation offered in the scriptures. His life does not reflect the sinful condition that the book of Romans claims to exist in all of mankind.

A film that makes an interesting contrast with this is Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather. Both of these films feature main characters walking past the marquees of art-deco movie theaters. The film playing inside during each is the Bells of St. Mary's. They are therefore set during the same time period. Despite this, they present sharply different portrayals of the world. The main character in The Godfather, Michael Corleone, has recently returned from World War II. It becomes clear that he is determined to remain apart from the organized crime of his family. By filming him as a soft-spoken, clean-cut war hero, it is clear that Michael is the traditional good guy of the film world. He is the George Bailey of the Corleone family. Unlike George Bailey however, Michael cannot find enough inside of him to defy the evil in the world. If anything, looking deep inside himself reveals that he, like everyone else, has evil woven into his nature. The film ends with a marvelous shot of Michael who has just ordered the murder of his brother-in-law. He retreats into the shadows and appears very similar to the way we first saw his father in the film's beginning. Rather than finding the tools to defy his family, he has become them.

Although The Godfather does not name Christ as the source of redemption from evil, it goes to great lengths to show that the entire creation, not just individual parts of it, are in need to a redemption that is outside of their own faculties. In order to do so, it deals candidly but honestly with the manifestation of sin in the world. Certainly this film should not be screened by young children. At the same time, it seems significantly more consistent with a Christian view of the world than does It's A Wonderful Life. It is unfortunate that Christian leadership is so quick to equate clean and moral with a Christian world view. In the case of these two films, it seems like clean and moral can also be significantly dishonest. As Christmas approaches, and we focus on the fact that Jesus came to earth, I can't help but feel as though we have lost touch with the reason that he had to.

more on immigration

2007-12-11T18:45:00.000-05:00

Apparently people are targeting illegal immigrants for crime. The feeling is that they will not report it to the police for fear of deportation. The raison d'etre of the US government is to protect the rights of its citizens. If people are here illegally, then they do not enjoy this protection fully. Amidst all of the debate over immigration, I have heard no one argue for the restriction of immigration on these grounds. This is my biggest concern with open borders. If a significant portion of our population does not have the freedoms guaranteed by the Bill of Rights, it hurts us all.

A Miracle on Larch Drive

2007-12-10T08:42:00.000-05:00

My kids believe in Santa Claus. Perhaps I am lying to them. Perhaps this is not rationally sophisticated. Nonetheless, this myth gets perpetuated. I am ok with that. I am thinking about this as I have just watched Miracle on 34th Street. This for me is one of those Christmastime staples. Some of these films offer nothing other than sentimental value. I find more however in this film. Every year I watch it, I see more and more value. On the surface, the film deals with the existence of Santa Claus. The films main character, Doris Walker, has at some point had her heart broken by a man who left her alone to bring up their daughter Susan. Mrs. Walker has apparently been profoundly shaped by her painful past. In an attempt to spare her daughter similar heartbreak, she is bringing her up to only believe in what can be perceived using common sense. Two men enter their lives and threaten this situation. Susan becomes friendly with a friendly lawyer neighbor named Fred Gailey who seems to be the poster boy of romantic optimism. Fred seems intent on challenging Susan's refusal to believe in anything irrational. They also happen upon a gentleman named Kris Kringle who believes he is Santa Claus. Kris comes to work as the Macy's department store Santa for Doris, who also works there. Although Doris and Susan take to this kind old man, they refuse to believe that he truly is Santa Claus. Kris gets into trouble when he becomes angry at the store psychologist for his treatment of another co-worker named Alfred. He confronts the man Alfred's defense, and ends up being criminally charged for his actions. The district attorney attempts to have him institutionalized due to his belief that he is Santa Claus. Fred Gailey, the Walkers' lawyer, becomes Kris lawyer. He tries to prove that not only is there is a Santa Claus but that it is indeed Kris. The film is clearly about more than the existence of Santa however. Throughout the film the character of Doris struggle to maintain her refusal to accept anything outside of empirical reality. It becomes clear that for her this is a way of coping with a fear of hope. Fred confronts her on the need to believe in more and tells her "Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to." Most of the inhabitants of the world created by the filmmakers seem to share the sentiments of Doris and Susan. Alfred the Macy's janitor is declared mentally ill by the store psychologist fort being caring and good natured. The district attorney rests his case as soon as Kris affirms that he believes himself to be Santa Claus. Simply using the backdrop of New York City adds to the feeling of a world which is too busy to care about anything more than the next thing. Although religion is never expressly mentioned, I believe that what is on trial is God. Two years before this film was made, 350 years of modernist and scientific arrogance ended abruptly with World War II. Obviously science itself did not end, nor should it have. Rather, a time began when it became slowly more fashionable to consider belief in something outside of the natural world. Clearly this film is asking questions related to this topic. Clearly the film is also critical of the cynical products of the modern era. I certainly have no idea is the God of the Bible was being considered by the makers of this film. The film does though provoke some interesting conversations about the role of faith at the crossroads of modernity and post-modernity. In this film, the idea of Santa simply has no place in a reality fashioned by the struggle for self-preservation of its inhabitants. It is the same struggle for self-preservation that the Bible identifies as sin. According to Fred, what Doris and the rest of the world are lacking is faith. As far as my own kids go, I don't think its right to wean them off of Santa and onto God. At the same time, it seems that to deprive them of the experience of Santa would just rush them into a world of business and unbelief that much sooner. I want them to believe in something. I am afraid that the process of aging and becoming wiser will rob them of the ability to believe in more than just Santa.

Where is the promise of youth for my child?
Where are the faraway kingdoms of dreams? We've been to the moon and there's trouble at home

They vanished in the mist with Saint Nicholas ,

they lie scattered to the ghettos and the war zones
Why can't I sleep in peace tonight underneath the satellite sky
I want to stand out in the middle of the street and listen to the stars

I want to hear their sweet voices

I want to feel a big bang rattle my bones

I want to laugh for my children I want the spark to ignite

before they find out what it means to be born into these times

-Mark Heard "Satellite Sky"

The Pledge Revisited

2007-12-06T08:20:00.000-05:00

When I left for college, I was what you might consider the quintessential American patriot. In addition to having intense political passions, I also was a lover of all things USA. My bedspread, bath towel, and backpack all featured American flags. The fact that my alma mater was founded by a church (Brethren in Christ) that affiliates itself with a pacifist perspective was a source of great frustration to me. I viewed this position as being both cowardly and traitorous.

I have recently found myself in a situation that represents a sharp departure from my past. The school where I work purchased flags for the classrooms so that the pledge of allegiance could be said in the morning. I found myself, as a matter of principle, unable to either put up a flag or say the pledge. The reason for this has nothing to do with disliking the United States. As a teacher of United States History for 12 years, I have developed an intense admiration for the Constitution and the principles which it espouses.

As far as the flag is concerned, I have much respect for it a symbol of this. It is with the use of the flag that I take issue. When I teach, my goal is to examine truth which transcends the confines of my school as well as the geographic and political boundaries of this country. If I were to work in a public school for the government, I may be more comfortable with its display. The fact that I do not frees me I believe to hold all earthly institutions accountable to transcendent truth. To display the flag in this setting would, I believe, compromise the appearance of my willingness to do so.

The pledge is a more serious concern for me. Not only do I not feel comfortable leading my students in the pledge, I do not feel comfortable saying it at all. The pledge was written in 1892 by a Christian Socialist named Francis Bellamy. It was written for a magazine called Youth Companion as part of an advertising campaign to sell flags. It changed several times until taking on its present form in the 1950s. At one point the supreme court upheld laws requiring all students to recite it, but that has since been overturned. What follows is the text of the Pledge of Allegiance, including problems I have with it.

I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America
Although I love this country, I love the principles it seeks to protect even more. I believe what was given as justification for our revolution was that at times governments instituted by men are prone to seek to rob men of these rights, rather than preserve them. I believe the following words from Jefferson demonstrate this. "In the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another..." His writing seems to be defiant of the concept of undying allegiance to any civil government. I believe the concept of allegiance asks for this. Wikipedia defines it as "a duty of fidelity said to be owed by a subject or a citizen to his/her state or sovereign. " Encarta defines it similarly as "loyalty to ruler or state: a subject's or citizen's loyalty to a ruler or state, or the duty of obedience and loyalty owed by a subject or citizen."

If I were to feel this type of loyalty to the United States, I would be more comfortable pledging it to the state or the nation. I certainly do not owe allegiance to the flag itself. I realize that it is just a symbol, but the pledge is not worded accordingly.

and to the Republic for which it stands
Why not just say to the Republic for which the flag stands? To include "and" identifies a distinct allegiance to the flag. Still, I don't believe I owe allegiance according to the aforementioned definitions to either. Perhaps this is affected by my faith. I believe that allegiance as such is reserved for God. At the risk of the appearance of religious fundamentalism, I want to point out that such sentiment is by no means reserved for the faithful. This is made powerfully clear by the words of French enlightenment thinker Denis Diderot. The author the L'Encylcopedie, Diderot famously quipped " man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

One Nation
Although the meaning of this word has recently evolved to a political identity, historically it has been defined, as by American Heritage Dictionary, as "A people who share common customs, origins, history, and frequently language; a nationality."In the historical sense, we are as much many nations as we are one. We are white, black, catholic, teen, nerd, farmer, Texan, beach bum, etc...

Under God
This is probably the one that has evoked the most controversy. Although written in 1892, the pledge did not formally contain this phrase until 1954. I certainly think that this nation is under God in terms of it being subject to his authority. However, I do not believe that this is any more or less true than it is for any other nation. I believe the way that it worded also leaves too much to the imagination. It could be implying official connection with a deity, special favor from a deity, equal authority with a deity, or a combination of this and other things. Because of this ambiguous language, I would prefer it to not be included.

Indivisible
If it is under God's authority, then it, like all other governments, is quite divisible. This sounds to me like the Titanic's captain claiming his ship to be unsinkable. I find it hard to understand how the same people who so passionately defend the inclusion of "under God" do not seek the exclusion of the above. This to me gives it the pledge a nationalistic favor and I believe the inclusion of "under God" should be seen as such.

With Liberty and Justice for All
Although these are guaranteed, I don't believe they are actualized. The day they are, I will be happy to say it.

I do not pretend that this is by any means a comprehensive discourse on this subject. I hope that it does not come across as dislike of the United States. This country existed for 116 prior to the writing of the pledge. Obviously love of this country can exist without its recitation. Perhaps I will undergo yet another change of heart on such things. Until then however, I do not feel comfortable with the pledge.

I think it would be fitting to end with a comment about my thoughts on governmental loyalty. The Bible in Hebrews says to "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority." At the same time, Jesus admonished the pharisees in Matthew for placing law based in the traditions of men over that of God. Matthew 15:3 says "Why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?" I interpret this as a requirement to obey earthly authority to the extent that it does not require me to break God's commands. As a citizen of the United States, I recognize the US Constitution as the supreme law governing my earthly citizenship. I do not believe that loyalty to it compromises my faith. However, as its enforcement is in the hands of men, I believe that it is within the realm of possibility that it one day could. Given this fact, I am willing to submit to constitutional authority, but I stop short of pledging it my undying allegiance.

Tis The Season

2007-12-01T18:45:00.000-05:00

Two things that prominently feature in my memories of the early 1980s are Weird Al and fear of atomic warfare. The two came delightfully together in his early song "Christmas at Ground Zero." (embedding is disabled for this song, so I had to post a link). Its worth the time for a song featuring the line "We'll dodge debris as we trim the tree underneath a mushroom cloud."

North of the Border

2007-11-30T18:58:00.000-05:00

One of the major justifications given for the creation of the United States was that all humans were entitled to certain basic human rights that should be placed beyond the reach of any government. Not only did Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence make mention of "unalienable rights," he went on to make the particularly radical statement "That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men." For 300 years western governments had been shaped by the ideas of men such as Niccolo Machiavelli, Jean Bodin, and Cardinal Richelieu. These men argued that individuals offered no higher good than service to the state and the sovereign, and that any individual concerns must never take precedence over these. Jefferson's declaration sounded an alarm that this era was over and the western world would soon hold no room for Machiavelli's idealized Prince. Government would now exist to preserve the freedom, happiness and prosperity of the individual.

I am concerned that in the face of the growing tension over immigration, particularly from Central and South America, into the United States, that this part of the American essence is being forgotten. Yesterday in my mailbox at work I received an essay that dealt with that. It compared this issue to feeding birds from a bird feeder. It suggested that if you feed birds from a feeder that they will lose the ability to fend for themselves. They will become dependent on the feeder. The essay went on to suggest that the birds will eventually poop all over your porch and that it is time to clean up the poop.

Certainly there is a valid fear of the ability of the US government to remain effective if the population rises too quickly. In addition, if the government cannot enforce its own laws, what good is it? My fear here is that these issues are not really the source of tension.

What worries me are comments about changing culture as a result of immigration. There are federal laws governing immigration. There are not significant federal laws through prohibiting the spread of culture. If there were, I would imagine they would fail. To oppose the immigrant culture I believe is not a defense of the American vision and system of the Constitutional Framers. I believe it is racist. The above mentioned article made a comment about our kids having to learn Spanish in school. I overheard a conversation at church where someone was complaining about businesses in the area being run by and catering to Mexican immigrants. A man was threatened with a knife at a South Carolina gas station recently merely for speaking Spanish at a gas station. A student of mine recently commented about a pick-up truck full of Mexicans. When I asked her how she knew they were Mexican, she looked at me like she didn't know what I was even talking about. All of this seems to reflect a growing frustration with an entire group of people and their culture rather than the actions of individuals.

In November of 1938, German diplomat to France Ernst von Rath was assassinated by Herschel Grynszpan, a German Jew living in Paris. This action ignited what had become a very tense racial situation in Germany. Five years of Nazi reign combined with economic and diplomatic crises following WWI resulted in significant anti-Semitism. This killing was the catalyst for which the Nazis had been waiting. A night of terror against German and Austrian Jews known as Kristillnacht was the result. Between November 8 and 9, 1938, 8000 Jewish businesses and 1700 synagogues were destroyed, and 30,000 Jews were imprisoned with 2000 of them dying. What had begun as a fear of the destructive influence of a group of outsiders would eventually result in Hitler's "final solution."

I would like to think that both the American system and the integrity of the American people would prevent this from ever happening here. I can't help but wonder if a similar event might cause an escalation in racial tension in this country. I fear that like Germany in the 1930s, the United States could see significant violence against particular minorities if these tensions continue to escalate.

What a sad historic irony that what masquerades as a defense of American ideals actually represents a complete rejection of them. When Jefferson and the other members of the 2nd Continental Congress did in the summer of 1776 was more than just declare independence. The heart of Jefferson's document was a justification for independence. By depriving them of basic human liberties, The British King and Parliament had forfeited their right to govern the colonies any longer. Human beings have dignity and value. These attributes of all men exist beyond any temporal, geographic, or political borders. Americans certainly have a right to advocate defense of their laws. The moment we refuse to afford others basic human dignity however, we have lost touch with the values which gave rise to this great nation. We must always extend to all what Jefferson called "the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them."

Over The Rhine All I Ever Get For Christmas Is Blue

2007-11-13T21:05:00.001-05:00

I know its early, think of this one as a Christmas pep rally. If you have seen it, you know you could use to watch it again.

Money money money money, Monet.

2007-10-27T08:04:00.001-04:00

I recently visited the Walters Art Museum in Baltimore with a colleague. They currently are featuring an exhibit entitled "Déjà Vu? Revealing Repetition in French Masterpieces." The focus is on repetition in 19th Century French painting. Perhaps one of the most famous examples of this is a series of the facade of the cathedral in Rouen, France by Claude Monet. Above are three which I have photographed. The outside two are at the National Gallery in D.C., the middle one is at the Orsay in Paris. Idealistically speaking, Monet was driven by the way that light and atmosphere make the same subject appear very differently at almost all times. As a result, the same subject could yield an entirely different painting. Our tour guide pointed out though that Monet was motivated by something more than just some high artistic ideal. He had to pay his mortgage. I find it refreshing that despite their elevation by cultural elitists to the ranking of "high art," famous painters such as Monet often faced the same pressures as filmmakers and musicians of today. For some reason though this reality, which is often used to discredit the integrity of creators of popular culture, is often overlooked when approaching the arts prior to the 20th Century. I am not saying it should be used to discredit Monet. What Monet did with the Cathedral in Rouen, and with his lily pond in Giverny, have changed the way I look at both art and reality. I just feel that contemporary communicators, despite their repetitive and commercial natures, might just be able to communicate meaning and beauty as well.

An Existential Revolt against Macbeth

2007-10-21T20:04:00.000-04:00

The last day, actually 36 hours, of my junior year in college was perhaps the lowest of a long string of personal academic blunders. In the midst of finals, I found myself with 4 papers due, and not as much as a minute of work put towards their completion. Somehow I managed to get them all done on time. Somehow I managed to get no grade lower than a B on any of the four. Now, as my wife and co-workers will attest, I do work better at the last minute. This situation was not, however, due to my waiting for my most productive time. I simply did not want to do them. Since then, I have come to love writing. I would love to have the opportunity to sit and research with the intention of defending my thoughts. Aside from being with my family, there is probably no other way I would want to spend my time. What to make of this? I guess anyone can look back on youth with many regrets. This difference just seems so foundational. It makes me not want to trust my intentions and desires now. Why not just let Macbeth finish this thought?

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing." — Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5, lines 17-27)

Aah, the pompous ass rears its ugliness once more. What irony, fearing a regrettable existence might just be the thing to give me one. There is one major difference between then and now. That is hindsight. Knowing where I was gives me an appreciation of where I am. If I had not been so thoroughly selfish, I might not be able to be who I am. Perhaps I don't need to fear the future after all. Perhaps it could only get better. I certainly don't want to one day regret who I am today. Never doing this could actually be worse. It would mean that I stayed the same. I am sure much of what I am doing now is regrettable. I guess it would be best to actually realize that one day.

SNL - Lazy Sunday

2007-10-18T17:36:00.001-04:00

I had not seen much good come out of SNL in recent years until one of my senior pop culture students brought this video to my attention. I can't stop saying "the chronic...what?...cles of Narnia!"

where am I?

2007-10-18T10:50:00.001-04:00

After almost 5 years of parenthood, both of my kids are finally sleeping until about 7 a.m. Yet another milestone has been reached. Parenthood seems to be passing me by in the pursuit of milestones. Sitting up, crawling, eating sold food, facing forward in a car seat, moving to a booster seat, talking, sleeping through the night, going to school; there always seems to be some big event to which I am trying to direct my kids. It is not made any easier by the fact that those with kids older than mine are continually pointing me towards such milestones. Wait until you have kids, wait until potty training, wait until they are teenagers, wait until college, etc... The cultural message I sometimes hear concerning parenthood is that now is never enough. This makes me afraid. I fear that I will spend so much time getting my kids to the next thing that I will never take the time to get to know them. I hope that I am not missing that chance. These milestones are important. In some ways, they are a measure of success in parenting. After all, it is my job to get them ready for life. They are not mine to keep. At the same time, I don't want to rob my kids of their identity like I do with so many other things in life as I continually seek to get to the next things.

But in the long run we have found
Silent films are full of sound
Inaudibly free

Slow down everyone
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that
-"Inaudible Melodies"
Jack Johnson

a need for leadership

2007-10-14T13:53:00.000-04:00

Vernon Bellecourt died yesterday. Bellecourt was one of the founding leaders of the American Indian Movement, or AIM. Founded in the late 1960s, AIM is a radical activist group that seeks to advance the interests of American Indians (they prefer the term American Indian over Native American for pragmatic and historical reasons). Although controversial and at times extreme, they have been perhaps the most vocal of advocates for the rights of those who are indigenous to this country. Among their more memorable actions have been the Occupation of Alcatraz in (1969-71), the Trail of Broken Treaties (1972), and the Wounded Knee Occupation (1973). Certainly these events are horrific reminders of the continued plight of the Native American peoples. An equally poignant reminder came from a former student of mine. During a lesson in 11th grade US history, this student asked if there were any Native Americans left. All of this demonstrates to me that Native people still live lives that are largely segregated from the rest of society, and that much of the rest of society is largely ignorant of this fact. As I sat in church today, daydreaming as I often do, I couldn't help but wonder why this is the case. Other minority groups seem to have their causes advocated well and continually. With no disrespect meant to the late Mr. Bellecourt, I can't help but think that part of the problem might be leadership and advocacy. One glaring difference between the plight of Native Americans and African Americans is that the former has never had an advocate such as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. While leading proponents of Native American rights have advocated armed resistance, their leading counterparts in the African American Civil Rights movement have advocated peaceful and civil disobedience. I am not convinced that there is not a place for radical action. Looking particularly at these two examples however, I can't help but feel that the leadership of Dr. King might serve as a more effective, if not ethical, modality for the leaders of AIM. Bellecourt, along with the other founders of AIM, helped bring Native American concerns at least partially into the American spotlight. Perhaps time will provide a better perspective on the merits of their actions. As the next generation of advocates for Native Americans emerges, there is still a long way left to go. It will be interesting to see if change can and will be made. I want to provide a list of examples from history and contemporary society that might serve as a bit of food-for-thought on this situation. Each (in addition to the earlier 3)will be linked to reading on the event. I have purposely tried to vary the types of sources used so as to bring balance. More variety can be found by googling each of these individually. I have also included some personal thoughts on each so as to explain why I included them.

1. Treaty of Fort Laramie of 1868
-the US government is still in violation of this treaty that set aside the Black Hills for the exclusive use of Native Peoples. It lasted only until the 1870s when gold was discovered. The Supreme Court awarded the Sioux over $100m in 1980, but can money correct something like this?

2. Andrew Jackson's address to the Creek Indians in 1829
-after evicting them from Georgia to a forced settlement west of the Mississippi, Jackson promised the Creeks that "There your white brothers will not trouble you; they will have no claim to the land, and you can live upon it you and all your children, as long as the grass grows or the water runs, in peace and plenty." I think he broke this promise.

3. The Case of Leonard Peltier
-the conviction of Peltier for the murder of two FBI agents in 1975 remains to this day of one the most controversial in recent American history. I personally go back and forth. I tried to select as objective a link as possible, but particularly encourage cross-referencing on this one.

4. Wounded Knee Creek Massacre
-called a "Battle" by the US military, this slaughter of 300 Indians, mostly very young or old, effectively brought an end to formal resistance to the US government by nomadic plains Indians

5. The Dawes Act
-this 1887 US government action attempted to Americanize the American Indian by introducing more "civilized" social practices into their societies. It was generally a failure.

6. Carlisle Indian School
-similar in theory to the Dawes Act, the goal of this and other Indian schools was to force American culture onto the Native Americans. The results of this were particularly disastrous.

A Title Change

2007-10-13T08:06:00.000-04:00

As I often am, I was recently on the blog of the McMullen family. They have a link to my blog on theirs. I was looking at the title of it in that setting, and I was not happy with the title. On their blog, the link reads "Earl's Lonely in the Midst of Tigers and Lambs." For some reason, seeing my name next to my blog made me very uncomfortable with the title. I realized that I was clearly describing myself as being lonely. I don't think that this is a major defining characteristic of my life. In church last Sunday, Dave preached on righteous anger in the light of Jesus in the temple. He said that when your anger is righteous, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Because of all of this, I am removing "Lonely" from the title of my blog. I am keeping the rest, as I still do feel like I am on some crazy journey in which I don't feel comfortable compeltely in either of these groups. Nonetheless, my blog from now on will be known as "In the Midst of Tigers and Lambs."

Hanover Theater

2007-10-11T18:51:00.000-04:00

In the main square of Hanover is an art deco movie theater that has been closed since the 1980's. Although now dilapidated, it obviously was beautiful in its prime. The Hanover Evening Sun today ran an article that said the theater has been purchased by a group that is in the process of restoring it with the intent of re-opening it late next year. The group intends to use it as a center to celebrate all areas of the performing arts. I hope that includes using it as a movie house. Classic theaters such as this have had a hard time staying open. Nonetheless, this is very exciting for a town that is growing but has seen little of this affect the center of the community. Here is a link to the website about the project.

Thanks to Shaun for finding this

2007-10-10T08:23:00.001-04:00

Read it and weep

2007-10-07T17:43:00.001-04:00

The York (PA) Daily Record today ran an article about the Kentucky Governor's race. Apparently the candidates, both of whom proclaim themselves to be Christians, have turned to Christian radio to run attack ads about one another, The gist of it seems to be that each claims to be a better, more consistent Christian. On his facebook page, my friend Jeff lists his political leanings as "apathetic." I wonder if garbage like this might just have something to do with that?

Parole Arrested Development! (apologies to Scott)

2007-10-07T12:29:00.000-04:00

I am, as ever, desperately seeking confirmation of the production of a film version of the late Fox show Arrested Development. IMDB currently lists the project as "in production" but that is the closest thing I have seen to confirmation.

I think I will update occasionally with any progress on this issue. It seems as though the further away from the end of the series, the less likely it gets that the film will happen. I would love any comments with any other info. Save Our Bluths! Free Annyong!

The Darjeeling Limited

2007-10-04T19:11:00.001-04:00

Wes Anderson is my favorite director. Tomorrow his newest film, The Darjeeling Limited, will be released. Click here to watch the trailer, or watch it in high def by following the link, scrolling down the page and selecting that option. If you don't know Wes Anderson, he is the writer/ director of Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tennenbaums, and The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou. Though some might find his films a bit on the quirky or eccentric side, I appreciate his willingness to probe the depths of the human spirit. I am particularly excited to see him work with Adrien Brody and also to work again with Jason Schwartzman.

once again I am unsettled by Anabpatists

2007-10-03T12:34:00.000-04:00

I returned to my Alma Mater recently to hear a lecture by Dr. David Weaver-Zercher. Dr. Weaver-Zercher recently co-authored a book entitled Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy. He is also a recognized scholar on the Amish. Following the tragic shootings in the Nickel Mines, PA Amish community last year, he was repeatedly approached by the media for insight into Amish life. He also published a great article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on the subject titled The Amish Are Not Ours. Certainly the story received significant attention in the news because it was so shocking and tragic. What gave it particular staying power however was the extreme steps the Amish community took to forgive the killer and communicate this to his family. The book seeks to explain a bit about why this radical forgiveness was possible by examining it through the lens of Amish community. To paraphrase Dr. Weaver-Zercher, they sought to show that this was an Amish, rather than an American story. I am very intrigued by this story. This willingness to act on one's faith seems so distant from the Christian bubble in which I regretfully exist. One incident from this story that was mentioned was of a 13 year old girl who said "shoot me first." I absolutely don't know what to do with that. One mother had two daughters die in her arms in separate hospitals in the same night. Yet at the funeral for the killer, 1/2 of the attendees were from the Lancaster Amish community. In addition, they gave to a fund created for the family of the killer. It is now a year since this happened. Once again the media is inundating us with coverage of this story. More than ever, they are focusing on the forgiveness aspect of the story. I am certainly not the first to be shocked by it. I guess I am just perplexed by this dichotomy. So often I have heard Christians cry for revenge following a tragedy. How could people who lay claim to the same faith practice it in such different ways? I don't want to sound naive. Obviously a religion which admits the inconsistencies of its followers can not be expected to be a model of consistency. As Dr. Weaver-Zercher said, this is an Amish rather than American story. Much of the response of the Amish can be attributed to their abilities to act as a community. The disjointed nature of the rest of American Christianity can hardly be expected to model this. Still, most all Christians do acknowledge the oneness of God's true church. We do this when we recite the Apostle's Creed and the Nicene Creed. I can accept subtle and even some significant differences. This one is much harder for me to accept. Why can I not help but look at this story and expect that it should be only one of many. Why can I not read this story and doubt if I would do the same? I wish that I could such swallow this, but I can't. This is truly agonizing. It makes it hard to be a part of a church. Even more so, it makes it hard to take my children. If I can't reconcile these things, how can I introduce my own children to this dilemma?

Darling when I was your age
I could do anything
I could be a restless heart
A social force
Or just genuine
And baby don't our dreams die hard
In the ashes of destiny
I wish that I could lay to rest
The bitterness that keeps telling me

About another good lie
Coming down like a freezing rain
From a hot blue sky
Another good lie
Coming in like a crosstown hurricane on fire
Another good lie
Coming down on your Daddy's soul
'Til it made him old
Another good lie
-Another Good Lie (Mark Heard)

Talking Heads - Road To Nowhere

2007-10-02T20:33:00.001-04:00

We listened to this song in my pop-culture class, and I wanted to post the video for my students. Here it is. Great little film.

the media elite?

2007-09-26T09:57:00.000-04:00

Following their game on Saturday, Oklahoma State University's head football coach Mike Gundy had a bit of a tantrum at his post-game news conference (follow this link to watch). He was angry about an article printed in the Daily Oklahoman about a quarterback on his team that he had recently benched. For what its worth, the Daily Oklahoman was listed by Columbia Journalism Review as the nation's worst metro area newspaper. Coach Gundy said that the article was unfair to this young man. To say that he was angry at this paper and writer would be a gross understatement. I don't know if he was being fair. What interests me is the response of the news, particularly sports, media. So as to illustrate my point, here are links to articles from ESPN.com's Pat Forde, Fox Sports' Randy Hill, and the Sporting News' Mike Hayes (who identified him as a "loser.") It seems as though the media is jumping on him because he dared to defy them. Through their control over the electronic media, they can command the attention of just about everyone. If you listened to any talk radio, particularly sports, for the last two days, it was impossible to escape this story. Furthermore, it was impossible to escape him being criticized. I am not saying he war right. I just don't think it was the content of his complaint that was being judged. It was that he dared to call the media unfair. One defense of this writer that I heard repeatedly was that she was just doing her job. So is a drug dealer. How does that justify anything? In my pop culture class, I usually find myself in the opposite position. I usually am defending the media against the notion that they have any anti-American or family conspiracy. I do not think this is a conspiracy. I do think there seems to be a notion of brotherhood amongst writers and commentators. I have no objection to that. But when that gets in the way of objectively reporting the truth, it seems that the news media has failed to do their jobs.

eulogizing the living

2007-09-22T23:08:00.000-04:00

this is for a friend. I hope he gets it.

"The mystery masked man was smart He got himself a Tonto'Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free But Tonto he was smarter And one day said kemo sabe Kiss my ass I bought a boat I'm going out to sea" -Lyle Lovett If I Had A Boat

You have never sausage a place!

2007-09-22T21:35:00.001-04:00

Every year I drive I-95 South to South Carolina about 3 times. A highlight of the trip has got to be passing South of the Border. I found this video on youtube. If you have made the drive, or even worse, actually gone in, you will love it

cryptoGnosticism Part I

2007-09-22T21:33:00.000-04:00

I am going to take the opportunity here to continue a discussion in which I was involved on the blog of my friend Jeff Cagle. Jeff has been involved with another blogger in a discussion concerning Catholicism, Calvinism, and Gnosticism. The discussion began ( I have been but a microscopic part of it) when it was suggested that Presbyterians cannot escape a Gnostic mentality if they reject the magisterial authority of Rome. I really was not involved in that larger discussion. I became involved when Jeff said that "'Gnostic mentality' is entirely out of place as a description of Presbyterians. Whatever faults we may have, Gnosticism isn't one." I generally support Jeff in the larger discussion, but I felt that this statement might not entirely be true. Whereas I don't believe that Presbyterians are gnostic in their rejection of Rome, I did suggest that there is a subconscious gnostic mentality that seems to be present in Presbyterian thought and action. Jeff, who did not grow up in the PCA, asked more about what he called "cryptoGnosticism." I said that despite having memorized many aspects of Calvinistic theology, such as TULIP or some questions from the WSC, I did not at all realize the impetus to cultural and historical involvement present in Calvinism and emphasized by the Dutch. I suggested that rather I was taught to distrust my body, the earth, and its inhabitants. Jeff asked how this inconsistency might have evolved. In particular, he asked if I thought it might be as a result of Revivalism, as a reaction against something, or another reason. I told him I would try to answer on my own blog, so here I go. I imagine that this cannot be properly answered without a more formal academic examination. I do not meant to go about answering his questions as anything close to that. Rather, I want to share primarily with him my initial thoughts on the matter in hopes of provoking some more conversation. I mean to answer this in parts. one more thought before I begin, I can only speak for the reformed Presbyterian movement, particularly the Presbyterian Church in America. I simply do not have enough exposure to other Presbyterian groups to be able to make the claims about them.

Part I will deal with the question of Revivalism. As far as Revivalism goes, I want to deal more with Finney and G.A. II and sidestep Whitefield, Edwards, and GAI. It is possible that the revivalism of Edwards and Whitefield was not as different from Finney as has been handed down. Because of its place in history though, I don't think that the 1st GA was as formative in the development of contemporary American society.

I believe that Finney as well as other preachers of the 2nd GA. had a tremendous shaping force on American thought and action. In his essay "What a Revival of Religion Is" Finney argues that the emotion must be aroused in order to elicit a conversion. He says

They must be so excited that they will break over these counteracting influences, before they will obey God... The will is, in a sense, enslaved by the carnal and worldly desires. Hence it is necessary to awaken men to a sense of guilt and danger, and thus produce an excitement of counter feeling and desire which will break the power of carnal and worldly desire and leave the will free to obey God.

This message came along at an interesting time in history (the 2nd G.A.. was approximately the first 30 years of the 19th Century). The United States was in the early stages of its own Industrial Revolution. The next century would see political freedoms and civil liberties come to a majority of Americans. The population was exploding. The end of the war of 1812 brought the US its first true sense of national unity. The presidencies of Jefferson and Jackson brought decision making closer to the common man than ever before. Needless to say, it was a very transitional time. The fact that his message was so widely received (as many as 1/3 of Americans professed a conversion during this time) at the dawn of this time period certainly left a mark. For example, the social reforms that followed the movement helped lead to the abolitionist movement which at least in part helped end slavery. I would argue that as a result of this, American Christianity was being democratized along with society.

The fact that this movement came at a crossroads with American industrialization is also noteworthy. American society was completely transformed by industrialism. Two ways in which this is true had a strong impact on American Christianity. The first is the development of the consumer-based economy in a free society. This inevitably gave rise to marketing. Christianity had to compete for people's time, money, and affections with other products and services. Churches also had to compete with one another. Whereas in the past this may have led to a church emphasizing its uniqueness, today differences are downplayed. The emergence of enormous "non-denominational" churches, as well as the benign label of "church" used by the denominationally-affiliated, are evidence of this. As attendance dropped at a church I used to attend, they hired a strategic planning firm to help chart a course for the future. I think that meant they wanted to put butts in the seats. Finney's fingerprints are all over this.

The second way is the rapid development of technology. Particularly relevant to Christianity is communications technology. This makes it possible to communicate quickly with an enormous audience. This development ties in essentially with the fast pace of contemporary American society. Now the competition for time, money, and affection is joined by that for our attention. If Finney would have had satellite t.v. and internet, it would have been that much easier for him to "awaken" and "excite." Given the methods of today's mass-marketers, his words sound almost prophetic.

So what does this have to do with Presbyterians and Gnosticism? Finneyan revivalism replaced a rational,discipled-centered conversion experience with an emotionally manipulated high. The progress of American history extended this type of sales pitch to many other social entities, such as politics and consumerism. Faith shaped marketing and marketing shaped faith. As globalized culture replaces much of regional culture, something similar is happening to Christianity. Churches need to be stream-lined and accessible if they want to survive. This does not explain how cryptoGnosticism has developed specifically within the Presbyterian movement though. That is because it is not because of Finney alone. It merely is one step in the process.

This is all very jumbled and sloppy. I feel honestly like it is academically irresponsible. I would rather sit down and write these thoughts out in a more appropriate fashion. I mostly am just trying to answer Jeff off the top of my head. In part II I will discuss how the influence of Finney and the rest of the 2nd G.A. set Presbyterians up for the development of gross inconsistencies within its ranks.

Over The Rhine - In the studio

2007-09-22T20:53:00.001-04:00

this is Over the Rhine performing "I'm on A Roll" from their new album "Trumpet Child"

What am I doing here?

2007-09-20T19:53:00.000-04:00

Today in Jena, LA. there was a march in support of 6 African-American high school students who are accused (actually one has been convicted) in the beating of a white student at their school. As this story has been all over news coverage today, I am choosing not to get into the details here. The reason I am bringing it up it, I wish I was there. As a history teacher, I am moved annually by several particular topics that I teach. One of these is the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950's and 60's. I have always wished I could go back and have been one a white American who demonstrated in support of the equal (or consistent) application of the Constitution to all citizens. I guess I figure that if I am who I claim to be, I would have jumped right up without the benefit of hindsight to tell me that the movement would become both successful and beneficial. It seems though that there are not many opportunities quite like that today. Hopefully that is because the country has become more consistent. Nonetheless, I would have loved to march today. The circumstances of this make me both angry and sad. I am angry that there seems to be such inequality in our nation today. I am sad because of my lack of action. I want to not just commemorate history as a teacher. I want to be active in changing it for the future. I think that opportunities for me are presented on a less substantial, though no less significant level. I got an email from a former student today that was a great picture of just such an opportunity. This young lady, a Christian, is a sophomore and voluntarily rooming with 2 Muslim women at the University of Miami (FL). It is currently Ramadan, and her roommates are expected to fast. She has made the decision to join them in fasting for the month. This involves her getting up to eat breakfast before the sunrise every morning. No doubt this is going a long way to shape what these other women think of Christians. It also will enhance her understanding of Islam and her friends. If Christians were to engage the unbelieveing world in this way...I know that opportunities such as this must be all around me. It is nice to learn from a student. It is not the first time, and I doubt it will be the last.

A Trip to Washington and a reminder of my blog's name

2007-09-17T19:01:00.000-04:00

Sarah and I went to Washington on Saturday to visit the National Gallery of Art. It was the first time I had ever been to that particular museum. On the way to the metro, we heard on the radio that there was going to be an anti-war protest. I am not a big fan of this or any other war, so I was anxious to see what the atmosphere was like. We shared the train with many people who were heading in for the march. I don't want to assume that the entire population of the march was represented on this one train car, but I did not feel like I belonged. It seemed to me that many people were just as angry and prone to violence as those on both sides who started the war. Others seemed like spoiled rich kids who decided to put on the badge of compassion for the day to impress their friends. I overheard one kid say "If I get arrested today, I am so not going to driving school tomorrow." When we emerged from the metro station onto the National Mall, we came upon a large group of counter protesters. They seemed mostly to be defending the war by waving the flag. It seems me that if a national banner justifies a war, how could we fault those Germans who joined Hitler's cause? We then came upon a man rallying in support of the war whose only item of communication was a 10 foot tall wooden cross. At this point I was getting very frustrated. Thanks buddy. That really helps. Everywhere I turned I felt out of place. The day took a much better turn as we entered the museum. To begin with, I came across the picture at the bottom of my blog titled "Northern Landscape, Spring" by German Romantic painter Caspar David Friedrich. His art tended focus on portrayals of loneliness and desolation, and this is no exception. Like Charlie Brown when Lucy diagnosed him with Panaphobia (fear of everything) on A Peanut's Christmas, I felt like screaming "That's it!" I can't believe I never visited this fantastic collection of art. I don't know if it is because there are so many other things to do in DC, but the museum did not seem very crowded. It seemed at times as though we had paintings such as this self-portrait of Vincent Van Gogh to ourselves. What a privilege to be able to stand inches away from the canvas and gaze deep into those haunting, haunted eyes with no one to disturb us. It was as though we had a private audience with Vincent himself. I am not sure why this made me feel better. It might not even make sense. But it did help. I am not suggesting that art should replace human relationships. On this day, I found a friend on canvas when I had been feeling otherwise very alone. I am glad for this reminder of why I chose the name for this blog. I guess when I find myself in that place, it forces me to find a truer identity. I am also glad that I had my wife to enjoy and share the experience with me.

hello there

2007-09-04T19:01:00.000-04:00

I have previously posted the writings of Byron Borger. Byron runs a terrific independent bookstore in Dallastown, PA called Hearts and Minds. He occasionally writes for the York (PA) Daily Record. Here is a recent article about Christian motivation in the work place. Thanks Byron.

Live Earth

2007-07-04T19:16:00.000-04:00

I want to give a disclaimer - I am in complete support of people seeking to preserve the earth through human effort. This weekend are the series of concerts known as "Live Earth." I saw an add for them that said "Eight concerts. 7 Continents. 2 Billion People." I don't want to in the slightest bit detract from the need to draw people's attention to environmental crisis. I just find it literally hard to believe that they seriously expect that 2 billion people care about these concerts. I don't mean that you can't find that many people who care about the environment. What is unbelievable to me is that they think that many people will watch. Wikipedia lists the world's population at 6.6 Billion. To think that 1 out of every 3 people on the planet is going to sit and watch this is absolutely ridiculous. I seriously doubt that anywhere close to 1/3 of Americans will watch it, let alone the developing world. I think the claim of 2 billion reflects that the entertainment industry (as well as politicians involved with this) think much more highly of themselves than they ought. All of this being said, Dave Matthews Band is playing in the NYC show. I can't wait (notice a recurring tendency towards hypocrisy in my blog?).

My dad's dream come true

2007-06-07T18:44:00.000-04:00

Ever since he was a teenager. my dad has always wanted a Harley Sportster. Today, someone who seems to do nothing but give to others finally got something. This is my dad driving his 2006 Harley-Davidson Sportster 1200 C.

boredom

2007-05-15T19:36:00.000-04:00

"At all costs avoid being boring. I put that before everything...You must use your imagination, an imagination which is based on sure foundations and which employs all means and methods to bring to the ears of the masses the new attitude in a way which is modern, up to date, interesting, and appealing...I am placing a major responsibility in your hands for you have in your hands the most modern instrument in existence for influencing the masses. By means of this instrument you are the creators of public opinion. If you carry this out well we shall win over the people."
-Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's chief minister of propaganda speaking about radio

"Here we are now, entertain us."
-Nirvana

Cogito ergo sum!

the defiance of declan mcmanus

2007-05-13T14:19:00.000-04:00

One criticism that can be made of popular culture is that artists are forced to compromise their integrity in the name of profit. This definitely is a valid concern. In order to obtain the capital required for mass-distribution and promotion of art (especially music and film), artists often need to please investors. I, however, do not like to be a complete cynic about this. I think that although it is difficult to protect one's artistic integrity, it is possible. And although I agree to a certain extent with this argument, I see several problems with writing off pop culture completely. To begin with, artists had to please investors long before the arts were democratized. Michelangelo worked for commission and certainly had to keep his patrons happy. He did not even want to paint the Sistine Chapel, but relented in part due to the huge commission he was offered. Shakespeare would never have become so famous had he not been able to fill the Globe Theater. Mozart had to please not only the Holy Roman Emperor, but also the Viennese opera fans. Therefore I think it is a bit short-sighted to limit the temptation to sell out to the contemporary artist. In addition, it is becoming easier by the day to bring your art to the attention of the masses with a minimal investment. Any amateur filmmaker can post a video on youtube and find celebrity seemingly overnight. Finally, whereas commercial pressures may result from the presence of a free market, this same freedom can also be applied to the speech of the artists. Although arguably a significant minority, there are a growing number of artists who seem to maintain significant control of their own work. The popularity of film directors such as Wes Anderson and Quentin Tarrentino, as well as musicians like Beck and Radiohead is certainly a ray of light for contemporary culture. Another such artist is Elvis Costello (ne Declan McManus). His song "Radio Radio" is an excellent case in point. The song is a vehement protest of the control over artists wielded by powerful record labels. In 1977 he was selected to perform on Saturday Night Live. They wanted him to perform his song "Oliver's Army" which deals with English fascism and was popular in the U.S. Several bars into the song, he stopped the band, and said to the audience "there's no reason to do this song here." The band then launched into radio radio. Incidentally, the stunt had him banned from SNL until 1991. The song as well as this particular performance of it show that all is not lost in the realm of popular culture. A defiant artist can choose to make quality music and challenge the artistic status quo. In addition to the above link to the lyrics for the song, I am also including a link to Elvis performing "Radio Radio" on SNL in 1977.

words of wisdom

2007-05-12T10:20:00.000-04:00

Sometimes someone expresses something I think much clearer than I ever could. My wife is reading "How Children Raise Parents" by Dan Allender, who is president of Mars Hill Graduate School in Seattle. He says the following "...here is the insanity. Many parents say they want to protect their children from the horrors of the sex, drugs, and rock and roll of this receding and decadent era, and yet they show far more concern for their stock portfolios, their standing at church, and their waistline than the matters of hunger, AIDS, bigotry, sexism, white-collar crime, and the growing hatred and violence in homes, families, churches, and society. We are in an age not only of inanity but also insanity." (55) I could not agree more. I see this as I teach popular culture to high school students. Parents are hyper-concerned about the content of the media that their children consume. They are particularly concerned about specific content, such as sexuality and language. What they are almost never concerned about is what the presence of the content in pop culture, nor its popularity in American society, reflects about reality. It is at this point that we fail to engage in other issues such as the ones listed by Dr. Allender. Shortly before he died, Francis Shaeffer admonished Christians to not worry too much about treating social symptoms, but to focus on the disease. For example, he said that we should focus not just on ending abortion, but on helping increase the value and dignity that society gives to human life. I think the fact that Dan Allender has observed this behavior as a generation-defining issue shows that we have not listened. I believe that if we would seek to be more consistent then we might be taken more seriously.

good news gone bad quickly

2007-05-11T21:03:00.000-04:00

The phone rang tonight around 5 and it was Sarah calling from her cell. She was at work, so the fact that it was her cell made me think she was coming home early. Indeed that was the case, but she said it was under bad circumstances. She said that she had been stuck at work. If you are not around medical professionals, that means she was stuck with a patients needle. It is not uncommon, but it is always scary, and it was the first time it has happened to her in ten years as a nurse. She had just finished giving a patient a shot when she accidentally got herself. She works with addicts, and this patient is a heroin addict which makes this very scary. They tested his blood and at this time there are no concerns that he could have transmitted anything to her. Nonetheless, we are both a bit shaken up. Please keep her in your prayers as she will probably need to be tested again later on. In addition, please remember the countless patients of hers who are HIV positive and don't have the love and support that she does.

The Unforgivable Sin

2007-05-10T14:50:00.001-04:00

The Biblically-literate may expect some intelligent discourse on blaspheming the Holy Spirit. That is not the unforgivable sin. There is an offense which is far more heinous than that. It is a refusal to submit to the power of the almighty Hallmark corporation and celebrate its holidays. That's right, I do not plan to make a big deal out of Mother's Day. Before you go to Wikipedia and put a link to me on their Adolph Hitler page, allow me to explain myself. Sarah and I are not exactly plan-ahead type people. As a result, we are not very good at remembering occasions. I think we both feel very badly about this. Because of this, we have given one another a gift that, in the words of Clark Griswold's Cousin Eddy , "keeps givin' the whole year." We have freed one another from Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, St. Hubbins Day (Spinal Tap fans will remember him as the patron saint of quality footwear) and the like. This does not mean that we might not make a big deal out of them on occasion. What we have done is to rob them of their dogmatic oppression. We certainly want to honor those people for whom these occasions are a big deal. We are not trying to incite rebellion. Those of you who have ever been forgotten by one or both of us on one of these occasions probably understand why we are doing this. We love one another, and we make that fact abundantly clear all of the time. This is something that we have chosen to do within the confines of our relationship. For us, it works. Hopefully, the good folks at Hallmark will not be sending their own version of Torquemada to our house.

Wisdom from a skunk

2007-05-06T16:00:00.000-04:00

We received a birth announcement in church today from some friends who recently had their third child. The card, which contained a picture of their child on the inside, had a cartoon skunk on the outside and the words "stinkin' cute." This is a great description of the arrival of a newborn. Yes they stink, and yes they're cute. More than that though, it was for me a collision of the greatest and worst things that had ever happened to me. Prior to parenthood, I expected it to be one or the other. Some people tell you that it is the most wonderful thing that will ever happen to you. Other focus on the inconvenience, the late nights, the messy changes, and the complete eradication of any semblance of a social life. When my children arrived, I found myself identifying more with the latter. It seemed as though life had ended. I felt that because I didn't initially feel that magical bliss of which many boast that I must be a terrible parent. A funny thing happened to me though. I came to realize that I can't imagine my life without my children. Moreover, I am more happy about my life now than I ever ever been before. This does not mean that at times I don't still feel that life is over. What it means is that I have come a bit closer to understanding the elusive concept of paradox. Modernity has left us with a thirst for the polarized. We love the over-simplified. There may be an eternal separation from good and bad. I don't think though that any one person is a complete personification of either. Nor do I think that we can always accurately perceive the difference. This ought to affect our responses to the people and the experiences we encounter. I wish that I had an easier time doing this. It is so hard to shake free of the need to put people and experiences into easy categories. Hopefully, the more I realize the limitations of this, it will become easier to defy it.

Rich Mullins

2007-05-01T21:30:00.000-04:00

I have just been watching a special on the HD network concerning the mismanagement of proceeds from Native American-owned oil wells by the United States government. The extent to which Native American peoples are still treated unjustly by the United States government, as well as the extent of the ignorance of the rest of the nation concerning this, are simply unbelievable. Among other things, this brings the late Rich Mullins to mind. Rich Mullins was a musician and a Christian who was killed in an automobile crash 10 years ago this September. I am careful to not call him a Christian musician. I think it would be unfair to in any way place him under the label of Contemporary Christian Music. Certainly, most of his music was undeniably confessional in content. It was a bit different than most Christian music of his time however in that it was not necessarily evangelistic. I don't think proselytizing was Mullins' goal. Rather, his music was full of heart felt reflections about the tangible realities of the teachings of Christ. Mullins took very seriously the concern that Christ demonstrated for the oppressed and the less fortunate. Despite great fame, Mullins took a modest salary from his church and gave the rest of his money away. He had a particular heart for Native Americans. Prior to his death, he moved to the Navajo Nation, where he taught music to students who had no music programs in their schools. Much of the proceeds from his album sales went to Native American charities. Rich Mullins gave everything he had (material, physical, and spiritual) to others. He seemed to be convinced that God was real, and that he wasn't God. His faith defied the dogmatic nature so many give to religion. He had been touched existentially, and he did something about it. I am including a link to him speaking at a concert in Lufkin, Texas shortly before he died. The speech truly encapsulates what he had become at the time of his death. His words could probably be offensive to both Christians and non-Christians alike. I think Christ was offensive in the same way. In it he says "if I want to identify fully with Jesus Christ... the best way that I can do that is to identify with the poor. This I know will go against the teachings of all the popular evangelical preachers. But they’re just wrong...Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in a beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken." The clip is just under 10 minutes, and is well worth the time. I think it would be short-sighted to just memorialize him though. He presents me with several questions I cannot help but ask myself. 1. What is keeping me from giving everything I have away and serving others? 2. If God's people (including me)would put into practice his teachings, what would that look like? 3. Where are the opportunities around me to put them into practice?

forgiveness

2007-04-13T18:20:00.000-04:00

Today a group called Equality Ride paid a visit to the campus of my alma mater, Messiah College. The purpose of the group is to protest organizations who have policies that they deem to be discriminative towards homosexuals. As I understand it, their method of protest is civil disobedience and frequently results in arrests. I believe that one of their goals is to bring media attention to the various organizations they protest and hopefully create pressure resulting in change. Of the various organizations they have visited, Messiah took a different response. Most places they have visited and refused them permission to demonstrate on their campuses. In a letter to the Messiah community from President Kim Phipps, the college maintained its position on homosexuality, but welcomed the group to campus and invited open discussion. They also strongly encouraged students to be welcoming and friendly to the group's members. Unfortunately a group unaffiliated with the Messiah community showed up to stage a counter-demonstration. This resulted in the police being called in to campus. I believe things calmed down with no arrests. I respect Messiah's position on this event. They are coming under fire from both sides of the political and religious spectra. They are willing to maintain their unpopular position, at the same time making it clear that it does not mean that those who believe it necessarily use it to look down on others. I believe this is the type of response to such a situation that Christ modeled. He did not stage angry demonstrations against the Romans, Gentiles, or really anyone else. Once again Anabaptists have brought our attention to the tangible relevance of Christ's teachings through their continual efforts to model them. Throughout their history this has led to their being treated much in the same way he was. Once again I am grateful for and humbled by their willingness to do so.

Springtime in Dixie

2007-04-01T13:45:00.000-04:00

I have found my way south to Hilton Head, SC for our annual spring break vacation. I am sitting in the Atlanta Bread Company, enjoying some great coffee and an oatmeal raisin cookie. After making the 650 mile drive from Maryland/ PA to here many times over the years, I have come to enjoy it a bit. One interesting thing about making the drive in April is the opportunity to go from spring to winter in about 10 hours. Two weeks ago, we got a foot of snow in Hanover. Today, I am sitting under wind-swept palmettos and 85 degrees of southern sun. There is nowhere I would rather in April than South Carolina's Lowcountry. I can think of little that compares to the sight of azaleas bursting into brilliant shades of white and pink, the majesty of oak trees draped in spanish moss, or the gentle caress of warm salty ocean breezes. From a hedonistic and romantic perspective, it is quite utopian. I saw something on the way onto the island that tempers the pleasure a bit for me though. In order to avoid traffic onto the island, I detoured down some back roads. This back way takes me through a remote area populated largely by the descendants of slaves. In South Carolina, many of these people have never moved very far from where their ancestors once worked in forced labor. They have remained in isolated communities and have retained distinct characteristics of the former slave culture. Those residing on the SC coast are known as the Gullah people. As I drove through this area, I passed a billboard. This particular billboard had was comprised of a confederate battle flag, and it read "Never Forget." I couldn't help but wonder aloud if the billboard was intended as a call to whites to retain their heritage, or if it was intended as a message to the Gullah inhabitants of this remote corner of South Carolina. The message certainly could have a different meaning for these two groups. It is hard to balance the charm, beauty, and friendliness of the south with the hatred and divisiveness of not only its past, but also its present and its future. I am sure many northerners cannot do this at all. I still love it here. I am glad I saw the billboard though. It is right in a way. It is important that we never forget. Although I am on vacation, I can't wait to return to teaching and the opportunity to make sure my students never do either. Perhaps by remembering it for what it was, rather than for some romanticized facsimile, we can make sure it never happens again.

a field trip

2007-03-21T11:37:00.000-04:00

I usually avoid field trips. The main reason for this is the fact that I don't want to do all the required administrative work when most of the attendees just want a day off from school. Recently though, a colleague invited me to bring my European history students along with hers to the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. Due to the fact that I had never been, and also that I figured this would be more than just a fun day off, I decided to take her up on the offer. I am very glad that I did. The museum, in my opinion, is excellent. The experience of a visit, particularly with students of European history, was quite memorable. I want to make mention of several thoughts that I took away from the day. The first thing I noticed was what seems to be a, if not the, major theme of the museum. The holocaust is so often portrayed and approached as if it existed in a vacuum. The Holocaust is often shown to have been a very tragic event that was the consequence of a madman. The creators of this museum seem determined to challenge this. They chose to present this event as the result of an evil man, who rose to power within a society with similar sentiments, that resulted from the movement of western and world history. Far from downplaying the atrocities of this event, they actually portray them in their true, horrible form. In doing so, they present a threatening reality. What happened was not a consequence of anything distinctively German, Jewish, European, or Western. It happened, I would argue, due to something about humanity in general. If that is true, than it radically changes my response to it. I need not just remember the Holocaust, but allow it to be a continual reminder to me to treat people well. This museum is much more than a memorial. It is a compulsion for all who visit to act. The second thing that struck me was its claim that Christians, both Protestant and Catholic, failed to act in any significant way to resist Hitler's rise to power. To be fair, it did say that there was one small church that told its followers not to swear allegiance to the Nazi party. Aside from that, most churches responded to the Nazi party with either support or indifference. Both of these force me to reflect upon my own life and actions. I can be saddened by this terrible loss of life. I can feel rage at the absolute failure of God's people once again to model the teachings of Christ. What I can't get past though is the fear that I might also not have done anything about it. It is possible that there are plenty of opportunities now for me to prevent suffering and injustice, and I am failing to act for one reason or another. Hopefully if an opportunity that great existed, it would be obvious, and I would act.

A Presbyterian boy goes to confession

2007-03-13T17:55:00.000-04:00

I have become painfully aware of a tension that exists in the teaching profession. I like what I teach my students. I like it a great deal, in fact. The problem is, they don't always seem to recognize the relevance of the subject matter we discuss. This can really be frustrating. What frustrates me about it is not the agony of getting them to enjoy my class. What is frustrating is that even though I want them (at times to the point of anger) to get it and like it, I know that my attitude as a student was as bad as any I encounter as a teacher. I just don't know how to respond to this. I would not be doing my job if I just accepted bad attitudes. How, though, to push them without judging them? I guess a good place to begin is to spend some time reflecting upon the way I once was. I am particularly drawn to a class I took in college, Pastel Studio, and the professor Catherine Prescott. As a student at a liberal arts school, I was required to take a wide variety of classes not directly related to my major. One requirement that I put off until the very end was a 1 credit art course. As far as I was concerned, I would rather have been required to take a 1 credit study in the endurance of Novocaine free oral surgery. I was always a poor art student. I was bad at drawing, painting, sculpting, cutting, pasting, and handwriting. On top of that, I had no interest in partaking of the arts as I understood them at the time. Needless to say my effort, as well as my attendance, were a bit sub-par. I had no interest in the class, and had no respect for Professor Prescott nor her medium. Then one day, she did something remarkable. She asked me to go into the hallway with her. She told me that I was failing a 1 credit p/f class due to my poor attendance. She told me she would give me a second chance if I had perfect attendance for the rest of the time and turned in all of my assignments. If this were a Hollywood film, her love and grace would have changed my heart right then and there, and I would have reconsidered my attitude about art and about life. This is not a Hollywood film though. Instead of viewing this as forgiveness, I viewed it as a loophole. I did my duty, passed the class, and walked away from the art world. I had much growing up to do after college. As my chosen profession of teaching history collided with my personal growth, I found myself increasingly interested in my old nemesis art. As I came to see art as essentially connected with the rest of life, I began to remember many things she taught me. Despite my ignorance, Professor Prescott had shaped my view of art and of life. Last summer I made my second trip to Paris with my students. I was particularly excited to take some of them to the Louvre to look at the art ofthe Romantic period . In class, we looked at a work from that period called The Raft of the Medusa by Theodore Gericault. As I stood in front of this painting with my students, I remembered pastel studio and Catherine Prescott. Her willingness to let me pass her class was nice. What was more important was her love of art and her confidence that if taught well, it could change peoples' lives. As my students excitedly discussed this marvelous painting (16'x23' by the way)with me this summer, I realized that they are her artistic grandchildren. To Professor Catherine Prescott I say I am sorry for my selfishness, and thank you for your willingness to move past that. May I emulate that continually in my own career. I am including three links. The first is to Catherine Prescott's personal website (she is now retired from teaching and is a realist painter). The second is to a painting she did called Girl With A Mink Pelt that was displayed recently in the Smithsonian in D.C. The third is to the Raft of the Medusa by Gericault.

The Black and White Cookie

2007-03-07T21:11:00.000-05:00

There was a classic episode of Seinfeld in which Jerry goes into a bakery and orders one of those cookies that has half black, half white icing. He then proceeds to get sick to his stomach and blames it on the cookie, saying the black and white were not getting along. In a subtle way, the episode was a reminder that race relations are still a very divisive issue in the United States. For most of our nations history, there were legal obstacles to a racially assimilated society. As a result of the Civil Rights movement, most of these obstacles are gone. Many use this point to argue that issues of racial inequality are dead in the U.S. The legal obstacles though did not exist in a vacuum. They were the result of cultural obstacles. Although the Civil Rights Movement all but eradicated the legal issues, it unfortunately was not as successful with the cultural ones. That should not be surprising. It is practically impossible to legislate someones thoughts and attitudes. In a society built on freedom, it is especially difficult. As a result, we still live in a segregated society. I was born in 1972 in the honeymoon period following the Civil Rights Movement. I grew up believing that America was free of the past and was now an equal society. These ideas have been tempered for me by a bit of an existential awakening. My life is entirely monolithic. I am a white person who lives near, went to school with, works with, shops with, vacations near, and goes to church with (predominantly) other white people. This troubles me. This is not a result for me of any belief concerning race. I probably could be considered a bit progressive in my views on race. I have even used my job as a history teacher to try and effect change in my students' views on racial tension in America. The problem is my own reality does not seem to have been impacted by these views. If progress can ever be made in this area it will be because people decide to value others equally. I do not know that my segregated reality is because of some deep-seeded, hidden racism. I don't know that it is not though. I attended the funeral of my grandmother this week, and at the risk of seeming morbid, I can't help but consider my own. Who would come? I feel that if my life is spent loving others selflessly, it will be attended by black, white, rich, poor, old, young, Christian, non, etc... Youthful optimism maybe, but a personal goal nonetheless. In his "Letters From the Birmingham Jail," Dr. King said "Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty."

The Great Paul Hewson

2007-03-04T09:06:00.000-05:00

I guess it is almost becoming cliche to recognize the efforts of Bono to make the world a better place. That being said, I really appreciate his efforts to end poverty and relieve insupportable third world debt. I particularly admire him for the way in which he communicates that these problems are not just republican or democratic , black or white, rich or poor etc... My wife and I were channel surfing the other night and came upon the NAACP image awards. We turned it on just as Bono was about to be awarded the Chairman's Award. The speech he gave certainly will go down as one of his most memorable. It is about 7 minutes long. Please take the time and check out Bono at the NAACP Image Awards.

If I...

2007-03-02T12:34:00.000-05:00

If I could go to college again, I would respect my professors, the material, and myself more. I would try to learn and become a better person.

If I could overcome my fear of heights, I would take up mountain climbing.

If I were more organized, I would have a cleaner house, pay my bills on time, and not lose so many things.

If I could love my wife better, I would be a better listener and not feel like I needed to come up with a quick fix for every problem.

If I made better use of my time, I would try to be more thoughtful about what I eat.

If I were better at multi-tasking, I would not lose my temper so quickly when I am trying to accomplish multiple things at once.

If I were more thoughtful of others, I would remember to write thank you notes, stay in touch more regularly, and generally by more considerate of their feelings.

If I understood better what a church should be, I would be able to attend more regularly and comfortably.

If I weren't so consumed by what could or should be, I might be more comfortable with what is. Then maybe I could make changes in my life for the right reasons. Aah the search for balance.

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

--Serenity Prayer
Reinhold Niebuhr

at the risk of redundancy

2007-03-01T12:59:00.000-05:00

I realize I have been using many links, but I have to do one more. I want to thank my former students Chris Crowe and Dan Miller for introducing me to Sam Beam. He is a musician who uses the stage name Iron & Wine. I look forward to heavily investing in his career. He recently played Messiah and this is a link to Iron & Wine performing "The Trapeze Swinger" at that show. Enjoy.

a delicious Over the Rhine Sampler

2007-02-28T21:30:00.000-05:00

If you have not had the pleasure, please follow this link to see OTR performing Leonard Cohen's "Broken Hallelujah". Thank me later.

I wish I said that

2007-02-25T16:35:00.000-05:00

Jeff McMullen preached in church today. His text was Mark 7. In the first part of Mark 7, Jesus is criticized by the pharisees for the fact that his followers ate food they considered unclean. Jesus pointed out to them that food is not unclean before it goes in to a man. He went on to point out that it is not what goes in to us that makes us unclean, rather what comes out. In other words, we are responsible for our own actions. I have used this before to teach about our attitudes towards the arts. Jeff, as he does so well, turned it inwards. He said that we always blame others for our problems. One application he made of this was to our attitudes towards government. I have a long time to think about that today as I am snowed in with the kids (see picture). Among other ways this stuck me is the fact that this would have made a great ending for my post on social tension. In it I argued that we must take responsibility for our own situation. I think this is what Christ was telling the Pharisees. Rather than blame our problems on Democrats, Republicans, the mass-media, our HOAs, or whatever, we should allow societal problems to be a wake-up call. If we see a problem, perhaps we should begin by asking what have I done wrong? If you disagree with abortion, what have you done to redeem people's attitudes towards the dignity of human life across the board? If you dislike minimum wage, perhaps consider paying your employees a fairer wage. If you dislike outsourcing and the loss of manufacturing jobs to overseas workers, have you considered paying a bit more to shop somewhere that will prevent those things? If you dislike the portrayal of Christians in the media, perhaps you should consider the way you represent Christ to the non-believing world. It is particularly ironic that many people making these complaints are people who advocate small government. If you don't want the government to control your life, make the world a better place without them. I recommend the Sermon on the Mount as a good place to begin. I am including links to several websites that present ideas for practical ways to make a difference in the world.

transfair usa - organization that seeks to guarantee that farmers are paid fairly by certifying products as fair trade.

the one campaign- seeking to eliminate poverty in an age when it does not need to exist

habitat for humanity

Amazing Grace

2007-02-24T18:19:00.000-05:00

I am eagerly anticipating seeing the new film Amazing Grace that chronicles the story of William Wilberforce, the m.p. who initiated the abolition of slavery in Great Britain and its empire. I have not seen it yet, and certainly do not want to assume it is good, but I am optimistic based on recommendations from friends. I have included two links. The first is the link to the films website where you can see the trailer. The second is to an article from the York (PA) Daily Record written by Byron Borger, proprietor of Hearts and Minds Books in Dallastown, PA. Please check out both.
http://www.amazinggracemovie.com/
http://www.ydr.com/op-ed/ci_5252559

Over the Rhine is coming!

2007-02-24T17:28:00.000-05:00

Over the Rhine will be in the Baltimore/ DC area on April 19th and 20th. They will do an all-ages show on April 19 at Jammin' Java in Vienna, Va, followed by a 21+ show on April 20th at the Rams Head in Annapolis. I also am providing a link to their entire tour schedule for those of you not in the area. If you have never seen them, take the time to.
http://www.overtherhine.com/when/tourdates/index.html
http://www.ramsheadtavern.com/annapolis/onstage.html

http://www.jamminjava.com/

social tension

2007-02-22T07:14:00.000-05:00

I have just begun reading a book called "Citizens: A Chronicle of the French Revolution" by Harvard historian Simon Schama. It is a narrative account of the French Revolution in which he argues that contrary to popular arguments that it was caused by the social injustices of the Old Regime (France's ancient social structure), the Revolution was actually caused by hysterical misdirected leadership. If you don't know much about the French Revolution, then you are not alone. I can't think of anything in the modern age that historians have such a hard time sorting out so far removed from the event. On page 15 of the book he gives an excellent argument as to why that might be the case. He says, "while it is commonplace to recognize that the Revolution gave birth to a new kind of political world, it is less often understood that that world was the product of two irreconcilable interests-the creation of a potent state and the creation of a community of free citizens. " Not only does this quote get to the heart of the French Revolution, but it presents some interesting questions for American society, such as can an orderly society coexist with a free citizenry? Order and freedom are strange bedfellows. Marxism promises order at the price of freedom. Anarchy promises freedom at the price of order. I believe most Americans believe that we have both. The French Revolutionaries claimed to be fighting for both. This dream died along with thousands of victims in the Place de la Revolution (now the Place de la Concorde) at the hands of the guillotine during the Great Terror of 1793-94. The Jacobin Party and their infamous leader Maximilien Robespierre chose order through fear "pour la Patrie" (for the fatherland) over freedom for its citizens. They, perhaps like Schama, did not believe these could exist in the same society. We need order. We want freedom. Every time a government legislates, it encroaches on our freedom, but at least attempts to provide order. The question then is can we have order that is not legislated by the government? The only way this is possible is through civic virtue. Robespierre knew this as well. His solution was to carefully select virtuous citizens by executing those he deemed non-virtuous. Obviously that is not a viable nor an ethical option. The choice for us then is act responsibly in the midst of our freedom and demonstrate concern for others, or surrender this option to the government and surrender freedom.

An allegory

2007-02-21T07:48:00.000-05:00

I figure that if I were in prison, especially for a long time, that I would not want a window. I would not want a tv, phone calls, or visitors. I would want no hint of the outside world, lest I begin to hope that I may one day re-enter it. If I began to flirt with such hope, I don't think I could bear my situation.

what would we do baby, without us? Sha la la la.

2007-02-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

The tone of my blog will take a bit of a turn with this posting, I realize. I just got off the phone with my brother Erik. He called me with some very exciting news. No, it was not that I am going to be an uncle again. Next to that though, it might be the most exciting thing. He wanted to inform me of tomorrow's release of season one of Family Ties on DVD. I can't honestly say that if the show were out now I would be a fan. I sure did love it in the 80's though. We have been waiting for this release for a long time. We have on may occasions drive our wives and Jeff Mcmullen crazy with our discussions about this show. In honor of this momentous occasion, I am offering for your enjoyment a Family Ties trivia quiz. Enjoy. I would imagine no one but Erik and I will.
1. What is the first name of next door neighbor "Skippy" Handleman?
2. What is the name of the Dean at Princeton with whom Alex interviews for admission?
3. What character was played twice by Tom Hanks?
-extra credit: name each of the scandalous behaviors he exhibited that served as the plot for those episodes
4. What was the name of the frozen food company that filmed an ad in the Keaton's kitchen?
5. What was the name of the all-girl band of which Jennifer was a part and that was managed by Alex?
6. Malarie once wrote a paper titled "I ____________, therefore I am?" (fill in the blank)
7. What was Elise Keaton's maiden name?
8. Who was Jennifer's best friend, although she was never seen?
9. Where did Stephen and Elise attend college?
10. Who was the owner of the grocery store where Alex was at one time employed?
-super duper bonus: from what friend of Malarie's did Alex get diet pills to which he later became addicted?

Fear

2007-02-19T17:41:00.000-05:00

I have been trying for quite awhile to get off my backside and go to grad school. It is time to stop complaining about my situation in life and try and be proactive. The problem is that I am afraid. Due to the fact that I was an immature twit in college, my GPA was, well, less-than stellar. Most grad schools have minimum GPA's. All of them are out of my league. I have contacted schools about this, and they say to apply anyway. They tell me that the length of time since my undergrad days will work to my advantage. I really want to do this. Here's the thing- if I never apply, I can also imagine there is a chance. I know this is ridiculous, but I am being honest here. I am paralyzed by my fear. Since I am airing the old dirty laundry, I have decided to make this post a shrine of sorts to some of my biggest fears. Here goes:

1. the dentist. seriously, I have been 3 times in 11 years.

2. taking the initiative to meet new people. We moved to Hanover to be involved in our community and to join a church that was serious about doing this as a body. The problem is, I can't bring myself to talk to my neighbors or to meet new people at church. What a trainwreck.

3. confrontation. If I don't like the way someone treats me, it is much easier to complain about them to someone else and in effect be worse than them.

4. People reading my writing. I love to write. I can fantasize that I can express myself well this way. I just don't want anyone to read it. Kind of a problem, I know. That is why I started this blog (thanks to prompting from some very persistent people).

5. being disliked

6. Because other peoples' kids are different than mine, that I am a bad parent.

Well, that is enough for now.
"Oh, for the sake of momentum, I've allowed my fears to get larger than life. And it's brought me to my current agendum whereupon I deny fulfillment has yet to arrive. And I know life is getting shorter I can't bring myself to set the scene. Even when it's approaching torture I've got my routine"- Aimee Mann Momentum, Magnolia Soundtrack

superman should have stayed where he was

2007-02-17T07:12:00.000-05:00

I hardly consider myself an expert in this area, but it seems to me that storytelling is becoming a rare art form. When we consume pop-culture, we want escapist entertainment. We don't want to think. As a result, film makers are tempted to focus more on bombarding our senses and emotions than provoking our thoughts. I would argue that "Superman Returns" is a victim of this trend. I am by no means a comic book aficionado. If I were, I would have called them graphic novels. My understanding from conversations with people who are is that this art form, when done well, examines the complex nature of good and evil. This film had the opportunity to do so, but ultimately fell short. When the film begins, Superman has been away for 5 years, searching of the remains of his home planet Krypton. He returns to earth, and in an incredible coincidence, arch-nemesis Lex Luthor is about to hatch yet another diabolical plan. The plan is shrouded in mystery until Lois Lane boards Luthor's yacht to interview him for the Daily Planet. Luthor kidnaps Lois and in a strikingly original scene shares with her his plan for destroying North America. Boy was that not a good idea. Yada yada yada she escapes and Superman thwarts the plan. My problem with this film was not the lack of an original plot. It was with the way the story was told, or actually not told. The characters were not written in a way that developed them as individuals. Rather the writing called on our collective memory so that we would assume these characters were the same as others. Many elements of the film subsequently served to trigger our memory and stir our emotions rather than help tell the story. The use of Luthor's wigs is an example. They director went out of his way to show us these at several points. This tactic seemed to serve no other purpose than shocking us into concluding that he was a bad guy. Certainly wigs are not scary in and of themselves. They have been used frequently in pop culture in a way that associates them with evil. I remember a great episode of the old show Amazing Stories called Hell Toupee about an evil wig (it also was one of the best puns of all time). There were some great elements of this film. My friend Shaun Stiemsma put it well when he said that it was visually excellent. Ultimately though the film falls short of other films that deal with the graphic novel genre such as Batman Begins and Unbreakable. These films explored the complexity of characters who, like me, are complicated mixtures of both good and evil.

Estima is a brewin'

2007-02-13T16:56:00.000-05:00

I said earlier I would post this- Starbucks in Hanover is brewing Cafe Estima as their bold coffee this week. I just enjoyed one along with a nice hour of conversation with my good friend Jeff McMullen. His wife Jodie, their two children Ewan and Liesl and he are moving soon to Vienna, Austria. We talked about their pending move as we watched the snow come down outside. Winter weather has always struck me as being paradoxical. It can be so beautiful and even peaceful. At the same time it can be dangerous and incapacitating. Friendship is the same way. It has been great to get to spend time with the McMullens as we both made the move here to Hanover. At the same time I always knew this would not be permanent. I will miss them very much, but am very happy for them as they move on. I am also very grateful for the time we have had here together.

First real snow of the season

2007-02-13T11:29:00.000-05:00

Snow is falling in Hanover. It is supposed to change to ice later on, but for now it is very beautiful outside. This tree is in our front yard.
"Tear these thorns from my heart, help the healing to start. Let's set this old world free. Let's start with you and me...Darlin' the snow is falling, falling like forgiveness from the sky."- Over the Rhine

Let them eat cake!

2007-02-09T13:48:00.000-05:00

Next week the movie "Marie Antoinette" by Sophia Coppola will be released on DVD. I want to quickly point out that DVD release is for me the true release of a film because it is the only way I can ever see them thanks to having 2 young children. I am very excited to see this. Coppola, the daughter of Francis Ford Coppola (as well as the cousin of Jason Schwartzman who portrays King Louis XVI) seems to be a great choice to take on this misunderstood woman. Her last film, "Lost in Translation" was an excellent study in ambiguity. Pop culture suffers from the disease of melodrama. Life and the experiences that accompany it are continually over-simplified in order to please a mass-audience and make a profit. Often in reality it is not quite so easy to delineate between right/wrong, good/bad etc...Marie Antoinette is an excellent case in point. She is a woman who was vilified during her life, vilified in order to justify her death, and vilified since the end of her short time on earth. She has frequently been portrayed as a conniving, narcissistic, hedonistic traitor who profited from the sufferings of the French people and then plotted their overthrow with their bitter enemy Austria (her home-country). She is particularly well known for something she probably never said. The story goes that when confronted with the widespread hunger of her people due to a shortage of bread, she said "Qu'ils mangent de brioche" or "let them eat cake." There is no credible evidence to support this claim, but it has been used for a long time to help characterize her. Certainly she was ignorant of the needs of her people. There is probably good reason for this. But she was also a sad, lonely woman, a devoted wife and mother, and an innocent victim of a tragic revolution. When Marie was a teenager in Austria, she was betrothed to the heir to the Bourbon throne of France in order to bring peace between the two nations. She left her home weeping, never to see her family or her homeland again. At the border of France, she was met by an entourage representing the French monarch. As she was now to become the property of the French people, she was to leave her Austrian identity behind. As a symbol of this transition, the young girl was stripped at the border of her Austrian clothes. In view of everyone there, she was then dressed in French clothes as she took on a new identity. The people of France never forgave her of her ethnic identity as they would identify her for the duration of her life as "L'Autrichienne" or "The Austrian." The majority of her time as a princess and queen was spent within the sheltering confines of Versailles, where she had little opportunity to encounter the harsh deteriorating realities of life in France in the years prior to the Revolution. When she was first married, she did not immediately get pregnant. Apparently one of the two rulers had a medical condition that made sex very painful. Her sex life became the national joke (everything about her life was very public). When the Revolution broke out, she began to worry about the fate of her children. This was furthered upon the execution of her husband, her arrest, and the subsequent separation from her children. She suffered intense agony over her children's' safety. She even went before the Revolutionary government to beg to no avail for the lives of her children. Her hair began to turn white and even fall out. She experienced a medical condition that caused her continual bleeding. Eventually, she also was led to the guillotine and executed. Marie Antoinette possibly could have done more for her people. She probably was not very likable. But she was a devoted wife and mother. Her life and death are a great example of how melodrama often fails to capture reality. The arts should be able to invite us to navigate reality by portraying it as it is. The historic response to her is a good example of how our love for melodrama often bleeds into the way we view reality. I would argue this also happens in other areas, such as politics. Watch closely the way political parties market their candidates compared to others at political conventions. The major parties set up the electoral process as a melodrama. The same also goes for family life, sports, friendships, etc... In a movie, the creators of a film sculpt a fictitious world and the characters who inhabit it. Good guys and bad guys might make sense in those situations. But I don't see many of them in real life. What I see are people who are complicated mixtures of both good and bad, and are not too different from myself. I wish that we had more filmmakers such as Sophia Coppola, Wes Anderson, P.T. Andersen, or Quentin Tarrentino; artists who are willing to examine people as they really are through their medium. Perhaps if we the audience were willing to view people as they are then filmmakers could begin to portray them as such.

What light from Grandview Shopping Center breaks?

2007-02-08T14:26:00.000-05:00

It is a very exciting day in Hanover. Thats right, Starbucks opened this morning at 5 a.m. I was fortunate enough to be one of the first ten customers at the store, and was given a nice mug, some ground coffee, and some lovely cookies. I look forward to many hours spent there sipping good coffee and hopefully enjoying some nice conversation. My coffee of choice- venti Cafe Estima, black. They brew it once a month, I will try and post when they will be doing so. I am anxious to see the impact Starbuck's has on our community. There are several great local coffee shops (including the Readers Cafe on Broadway just east of the square if you are ever in Hanover). They provide character and a friendliness that Starbuck's never can. Starbucks though does have a decent environmental policy, as well as a commitment to paying their farmers fairly. I also like their coffee MUCH better. Who to support? Well, I guess I will just have to go out for coffee more.

The Personal Redemption of Bob Irsay and the Mayflower Van Company

2007-02-05T14:37:00.000-05:00

The colts won the superbowl last night. I am sure that many a native baltimorean blogger is discussing this today. As the clock expired, I was realizing something. I have changed. I was surprised that I just don't care any more. I can still remember that cold snowy night, watching t.v. in my mom's room as those Mayflower moving trucks rolled out onto Owings Mills Blvd with "our" team. I remember the dart boards with the likeness of Bob Irsay for sale at Oriole's games. I remember my mom sharing memories of celebrating with her dad out in the street after the Colts defeated the Giants in the "greatest game ever played." I was always more of an Orioles fan than the Colts, but it still was sad. I never really thought about it, but I guess my anger subsided over the years. Maybe it was maturity. Maybe it was the fact that our city happily embraced a team departing from another city. Maybe it was that they soon won a superbowl. Maybe it is that I don't have time to pay enough attention anymore to really care. I guess it is probably some of all of these things. I don't want to over-simplify such things. I don't want to say that these things are not important. At the same time, I don't want to project the shear hatred onto events such as this. I really hated Bob Irsay. I hated Indianapolis . I even hated that moving company. It is tough to find balance in life. The memories I have of root-root-rooting for the home team are good ones. What stands out to me more is the people with whom I shared them. I think the lesson I have learned are that sports are great, but like many things, not at the expense of people. I don't want to ignore my kids to pay attention to a game. But I also don't want to hate a man I never met because he did something I likely would have done myself.

7 Reasons to not hate the French

2007-02-03T16:26:00.000-05:00

1. French press coffee. If you have not tried this method of coffee preparation, it is fantastic. It is also relatively inexpensive (I got one for $16). I think I will turn my drip-coffee maker into a planter. Remember to always use fairly traded coffee.

2. Crepes prepared with- and listen closely here- bananas, confectioners sugar, and nutella.

3. The town of Chamonix and the surrounding alps. See the view from my window at the bottom of the blog.

4. They gave us (the US) the basis for our democracy. The concept that the members of a society form a contract with themselves and their government comes largely from Rousseau, and the separation of powers (down to the names of the branches) as well as checks and balances comes from Montesquieu. The philosophes have their fingerprints all over the declaration of independence and the constitution.

5. Escargots in garlic butter with a good baguette.

6. Our independence. Without their financial and military support (which came unfortunately at a tremendous cost to them), we never would have defeated the British.

7. If you think the French are rude, please do three things. 1. Observe the behavior of American tourists, 2. take a trip to New York City or to a Philadelphia Eagles game, and 3. spend time outside of Paris. As with any place, life is slower and a bit more friendly outside of a major city.

missing a man I never knew

2007-02-02T06:58:00.000-05:00

I am sitting in Panera in Eldersburg, Maryland. A light rain is falling into cold air and freezing that upon which it falls. School is delayed. I am now a resident of a two hour limbo. I have to sit here and think about going into work. My precious routine has been broken. I am forced to be aware of my surroundings. I don't like that. At moments such as this I remember Mark Heard. His writings come to my mind, so I will share them here.

These days
We put on cars like shoes
And walk faster
We form lines and remain mute
Almost unaware of the walkers around us
As we transcend space
We put on wings like a coat
And spend morning and evening in separate worlds
Instant schizophrenia
As we transcend time

Maps hide cities
Cities hide houses
Houses hide faces
Faces hide hearts
But hearts still beat quietly
Few feel even their own pulse
But hearts are made to beat
We can drown them out with more accessible rhythms
But they continue the counterpoint
Hearts are made to beat
Our souls are still within us
Our Creator waits for us to notice
As our geographical boundaries
Are chased around the sun by time
Decaying in a fashion some call normal
[from Mark Heard's journal, www.markheard.net/heardtribute/archive/news.html]

He makes me glad that I am not the only person to feel this way. More than selfish empathy however, he gives me hope. I am glad to have this time, lest I am lulled to sleep by my daily drudgery. I am dreading the day, but that reality must serve to make me want and create more. Thank you Mark.

weakness

2007-02-01T14:56:00.000-05:00

My children and I have invented a game. It is not too complicated. Daddy growls and says "I'm going to get you." The two kids then run around yelling and laughing their heads off while daddy chases them. Quite complicated. At this time in their lives, this game is one of their greatest sources of joy. They look up at me and say "I'm going to get you!" and thus invite me to chase them. How cute. The problem is they have the audacity to ask me to play at the end of a long day. They actually think I should play this when there is some exciting play the Ravens are making. As I write, I can see their eyes looking up at me. These are great opportunities to make someone very happy while having to sacrifice very little if nothing at all. Yet time after time I tell them not now, later. This situation presents two predicaments for me. The first deals with the way I relate with others. I am writing about myself as if I was another person. I am judging my actions to be loathsome. I can find everything in the world wrong with them. In 11 years of teaching and observing families, I have come to believe that the single greatest parenting mistake people make is to continually put their own needs ahead of those of their children. Yet in moments of existential angst I find myself making the same mistake. How does one relate to people in a way that recognizes that we all make these compromises, yet not dismiss the fault of these actions nor their consequences in the lives of their children? The second predicament is how to stop. I don't want to be that parent. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that I don't have time for them. Worse than that, I don't want them to think that to me, they are nothing more than something else in life I use to feel good. I don't want to objectify my children. I don't have a happy ending to any of this. I guess that is why I get life. Maybe, I might just get the chance to learn to be a better father and a better friend.

modus operandi

2007-01-31T13:41:00.000-05:00

In his song "When you give it away" from the album "Breakfast in New Orelans," Canadian musician Bruce Cockburn says
"Deep in the city of the saints and fools
Pearls before pigs and dung become jewels
I sit down with tigers, I sit down with lambs
None of them know who exactly I am"

I would never want to project my understanding of an artwork on an artist as being his intent, but, I do have a romantic notion of what he might have meant. As a Christian and a serious artist, he must feel lonely. The Christian music audience, as well as the Christian music industry, could not be home for him. They could never understand his use of language they might deem objectionable, his left-leaning politics, or his refusal to obey the arbitrary standards to which the contemporary Christian music industry often holds artists. However, he probably will never be overly-popular in the so-called secular world either. I don't know if it is that he is too candid, or perhaps if he is perceived as being too religious. Perhaps his concern for suffering and injustice offends people as it did with Christ. Whatever the reason, I assume he feels a bit alienated from this audience as well. I would not describe myself as an artist. I am a teacher, a father, a student, a friend, a son, and a husband. In my attempt to do these things, and do them well, I find this song resonating with me. Cockburn might say that I am totally missing his point. I may be. Words, though, do not always have one meaning. The older I get, and the more I think about the teachings of Christ, the more I feel loneliness in the midst of my surroundings. My purpose is to elaborate on why, evaluate myself, hopefully be evaluated, and possibly to provoke some thought in others. There is one other line in the song that will be critical for me. He says "I was wearing OJ's gloves, and I couldn't get 'em off." I think his song is not written from some elitist perspective of world-loathing. It is born out of careful self-examination, and a desperate attempt to place himself in existance. I don't want to complain about everyone and subsequently set myself up as some type of hero or martyr. I just want to document what it is like on the road (sorry J.K.).